Who want it?nobody wants it.....
Are we careless?maybe....but we thought we've tried our best to do the health protocol anywhere, anytime. It's just the time....
Some people might say...you should only stay at home, well hey....we're not hermits. We got something to do outside, but it's just the time....we caught the hottest virus of the century.
It's also shocking for us actually, it happened when we were not gather with others for a while, so we practically only spend with our family for almost a week. Husband got annual leave for a week, after went back from the island with a group of friends (they were all fine), we spent the rest of the week only 4 of us, up until now I can mention where, when and what we were doing that time. I still don't understand from where we caught the virus. But it happened anyway....no regret.
We plan to attend a defence exhibition the next week, so on Saturday we took PCR test after doing groceries. On Sunday, husband starts feeling unwell, so he stays at home the whole day, not going to work, waiting for our PCR results. It came negative, so on Monday morning he decided to go to the doctor, to check his condition. His symptoms are fever and nose blocked. Doctor did blood test, x ray, and inject paracetamol for his fever. All the results are OK.
I told my husband to wear mask when he's around the kids, cause they just started to go to school again after distance learning for a long time. I also slept in separate room, I slept in the kids room. But, he was using the same prayer mat with me, so on Tuesday I started feeling unwell too. I decided to go back to sleep in our room, next to him. On Wednesday afternoon, my fever is getting higher. So I decided to go to the doctor also, the same doctor with husband, while he should went back also, to take his lab results. All the results are good. Meanwhile, I also did the same test. But this time doctor suggested us to take another PCR test.
So we took PCR test in the hospital, but it took 36 hours for the results. So in our mind, we still think we are okay, only got common cold, since the weather is changing. Husband still going to work, I also attend a small party, only 6 adults with the children. But we were not going to the exhibition :(.
I always think, that whatever disease that we had, we should always keep others for getting infected, so I wore my mask all the time that time, except when I was eating.
Finally, Friday afternoon, we got the results....and it was positive....shocked, afraid, worried, and don't know what to do. Took a deep breath, I thought about my friends in the birthday party, I contacted them one by one, I feel guilty, and I was very sure they will get mad to me, but the most important thing I'm afraid I already spread the disease to them. The feeling that haunted me for the next 10 days after the meet up, the isolation period for case contact according to regulation in the country. Moreover, after our first PCR before husband feeling unwell, we also visited friend's home and having lunch there.
Meanwhile, husband started to contact the hospital where we did the test, and got no response. Not long after that, they reply to my WA and asked us to come to the hospital for another PCR test. We also took the kids with us, to do test for them also. On Saturday, all results came out, Alhamdulillah both kids are negative. For us, we positively got positive results :(.
We contact the school, and requesting to change to distance learning for the kids. We really grateful, the school is very responsive, and really helpful, it didn't take a long time to do the changing.
Next, after receiving our results, we went to the hospital that designated for covid case. There, it's a normal process, checking our vital sign, consult with the doctor and then come the decision from the doctor. We were processed in separate line, me in the female area and husband in the male area. Doctor assigned me to do home isolation for 10 days, counted from the date of first test that had positive result. While my husband, was assigned to go to isolation facility. So that night, I went home first, packing his needs before he went to the facility.
My struggle was started the next day, I started to asking for apologizes to my friends, to put them in a risky situation. Meanwhile, I must fight the fever that came and go, nose blocked and I started to lost my smell and tasting ability. I even can't smell my shower gel for around 3 days, I couldn't taste savory food, but I could taste sweet things, so I still can taste fruits, surprisingly banana became very delicious.
Sunday afternoon, I must took the kids to Tracing Center to register them for contact case, I couldn't imagine what should we do there, it's around 30 minutes drive from our home. Turned out, I couldn't go inside the hall, so one of the staff there told me, that I need to fill the forms for the kids, and then they will help the kids to do the process. I tried to wait in front of the hall, but the wind was so strong, and the fever that I got really make me feel sick, so I decided to wait inside the car.
I was easily feel hungry, I drank lots of water and ate banana that I brought from home. The kids finished all the process around 6pm, and they told me that they did PCR test and registering for home isolation, and then they got their next schedule for another PCR test (2 more test to do). I felt so down, I want to cry, I just very sad, I can't accompany the kids to do PCR, on the other side I was very proud, that both of them are very brave. They didn't cry, they could get through new things all by themselves. I thought about that the whole night and until now I'm still very proud of them. The results also came negative for them.
For the whole week, I stayed inside my room, while the kids are doing their school in the living room. I order online for everything, and my eldest was responsible for receiving all deliveries. I still got fever in the evening, so I regularly check my temperature and consuming paracetamol if I had 38 degree or up. I feel very weak and lazy, with lots of things in my mind, thinking how to properly apologizing to my friends. Every morning I contacted them, to get information about their condition. I just think, I will check on them until the next 10 days. They did PCR for them and their children, a bit relieving all came negative.
But most of my friends were very supportive, they sent food, they asked about my condition everyday. They told me not to worry and feel guilty. I'm very grateful for everything, to get the best supports from my surrounding, blessed with independent kids, and mild symptoms of the disease, so I still can functioned well, I still can think straight.
On Wednesday morning I went for day 8 PCR test in the hospital, and in the afternoon took the kids for another PCR test in Tracing Center. On Thursday, I got negative result, but I still need to isolate until day 10. Knowing I got negative I cleaned up and disinfect my room and bathroom. Changing all the sheets and washed them, all the clothes, all praying mat and praying clothes, towels. It's tiring but I'm happy since both of us already negative. Husband also got negative result the day before, so he must move to negative section of the facility.
Got my eldest result around 8pm, it's negative. But, my younger one's result didn't came yet. 9pm I told the kids to sleep, I feel very tired after the clean up. My younger was complaining that her nose was blocked, and she asked to use nose spray, just like when she got flu. 3am I woke up, and checked on my phone, and got terrified to read my younger result, it's positive. I'm confused, since both were sleeping in the same room. I moved my younger to my room, but not long I changed my mind, and moved my eldest to my room.
I sent message to husband, afraid, worried, how will the effect for kids. I can't sleep anymore, waiting for the sunrise, making plan what to do next. While I just start to recover, I just feel that I got hit again.I decided to isolate my younger one in her room, and let my eldest sleep in my room, but different bed, I drag her mattress to my room, change the sheet, and I keep wear my mask around her.
I took my younger to the hospital on Friday morning, consult with the doctor, no medicine prescribed. Doctor said, when it started very mild it will still mild till the end. I prayed and hoped that she will only get mild symptoms. That day I also got my clearance certificate, since it's day 10, and hoping husband will be discharged from the facility the same day. I did another PCR test, in the afternoon, but I got another positive result. Even the doctor already explained that after 10 days, whatever the result, day 10 it wouldn't be contagious anymore, but still the result beat my down again. I wait for husband to go back home, since I can't take my younger with us to Tracing Center for re registering my eldest for contact case, even we haven't closed the previous file.
On Saturday, I did final check to all my friends that I met in the birthday party, thankfully all of them has shown no symptoms. I feel grateful, but still feel burdened for any damages that happened, I'm still afraid it left scars to any of them, physically and mentally. Truthfully, I still have thought about that.I knew that nothing I can do to repent my mistakes. I just pray and say apologizes one more time. I pray for them, to live well and healthy, I just keep my mind to just accept if I lose friends. The terrifying thought that still haunted me up till now.
We were waiting my husband to go back, but there's no news until Monday. Then I decided to leave my younger alone at home, stay inside her room, watching youtube. Me and my eldest drove to Tracing Center, for almost 2 hours, registering her and got another PCR test, my mind was splited between driving and thinking about my younger one at home. Thankfully, I already feel much much better than the week before. So now the struggle is inside my mind.
On Tuesday, I got long phone call with husband, there are still no signs that he will be discharged soon. We made calls to all contacts that in charge for the isolation stage. No positive feedback, then I decided to ask for the rules in the hospital that sent him to facility. I made a scene there, and almost threaten by the staff, but once again there is a kind nurse that accompanied me to the doctor in charge, so I can ask for clarification about isolation regulations. It was tiring.....I feel hopeless, so I went back home, and just lay down in the bed. That day was the lowest day of my life in the last 2 weeks, starting when we diagnosed positive.
Around 5pm, husband called, tell me that suddenly all the resident of the negative halls will be discharged. We keep in touch during the process, and finally I must go to pick him up. It was just like we've been separated for a long time. I can feel how happy he was that day, I started to cry....feeling relieved. After all the long struggle. I just think that I need to stand up straight the whole time, since it's only me the only adult that could make decision at home. I feel half my burden was gone. At night we talk a lot, how we appreciate our life. How all this things made us grow closer, stronger and more mature. I just cried the whole night, feeling grateful for everything, for having incredible daughters, for having best friends as supporter, and for having a loving husband.
I just hope, that Tuesday was my last day to visit the hospital. I got call from a homecare facility that, for my younger one, they will do home visit PCR test for day 8 and day 10, and I will get the clearance via email. I actually also got the same call, but it's 1 day too late, I already took my test in the hospital.Finally after 2 weeks of desperation, all of us got 2 negatives, but we decided to stay at home for 1 extra week.
Overall, the process for home isolation is very good, I got call for food deliveries, provided until my home isolation finished. I also got call, for laundry service. 2 thumbs up for the government. But I'm still a bit upset for facility isolation rules.
For me and family, we were experiencing a fantastic spiritual journey, it made us even more grateful for everything that we have. We were very lucky that we got mild symptoms, we were surrounded by many beautiful and kind people. It made us realizes that we should always be grateful and kind to our surrounding. And it also made me realizes more, that I could make a terrible mistake, I wish time will heal everything, I just try to do my best.
In the end I just want to say THANK YOU and ALHAMDULILLAH
